


botched

by daenw (freckledfoxes)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aromantic Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Miscommunication, these stupid boys, vaguely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 17:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10995978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckledfoxes/pseuds/daenw
Summary: prompt: i'm not v creative with prompts i'd love something fluffy tbh maybe dean proposing to cas? and being super nervous about it that he almost screws up but cas says yes anyway? (via jensenackle on tumblr)





	botched

Dean has to keep wiping his hands on his pants. He’s so nervous that his teeth ache and it’s absolutely fucking ridiculous because _it’s Cas_. He shouldn’t be nervous. Cas loves him.

But at the same time, _it’s Cas. Cas loves him_.

Cas says it nearly every day. _I love you_ Dean before leaving for work. _I love you_ so much as they’re making out and things are getting heated. _You’re amazing, I love you_ when Dean spontaneously makes a big, candlelit dinner, dessert and all.

Dean’s never said it. Not once. At least, not in so many words.

Cas has never complained about Dean’s lack of verbal affection, though. Which makes no sense to Dean. People want to hear that, right? Especially after years of being together. Especially after six years, in his and Cas’ case. That’s why him and Lisa never worked out after two years. And him and Aaron after three years. And him and Cassie after just one.

Because he couldn’t just say the damn words.

It’s not like he can’t see himself being with Cas forever. There was a time when that was true, sure, but not anymore. Now... _Now_ he does. He can see spending the rest of his life with Cas, can see them buying a house together, can see them adopting kids, going to PTA meetings, going on stupid couples cruises, retiring, sitting in rocking chairs sipping iced tea as the sun set, the whole nine yards.

Dean can see it. He can see it and he wants it so bad that it hurts.

But he just can’t being himself to say the damn words.

That’s why the ring in the top dresser drawer scares the crap outta him. That’s why he’s been putting it off for _months_. Because Cas has every reason to say no. Cas has every reason to throw the ring back in his face and tell him to shove it where the sun don’t shine.

_“When are you gonna ask him, Dean? I helped you pick the ring out months ago! I thought you were going to ask him right away? You were so excited--”_

“I’m working up to it, okay? I can’t just... It has to be good, you know? I don’t wanna mess it up.”

_“He’s going to say yes no matter what, Dean. He loves you.”_

“He says he does, sure. But I-- I haven’t even said it to him, Sam. He’s gonna hate me for that, eventually.”

_“If he still says it, and he hasn’t left you yet, then I don’t think the words matter to him, Dean.”_

“They will. They always do.”

Sam huffs on the other end of the line and he can hear Eileen in the background. No response from Sam, which means he must be signing back to her.

“You can’t fuckin’ gossip about me in sign language when I’m the phone with you, dick. What the hell?”

_“Eileen says to ‘grow a pair.’”_

Dean scoffs, affronted. “Tell her I’m not bringing any day-olds back for her tonight. As punishment.”

There’s silence for a moment and then he hears Eileen let out a bark of laughter.

_“Yeah right!”_ That was definitely Eileen’s voice.

Dean seethes. Of course he’ll bring her the day-olds. She’s pregnant and Dean is predictable.

Sam laughs heartily into the receiver. _“Just ask him, dude. There’s nothing to worry about. He’s going to say yes.”_

Dean’s anxiety spikes again now that he isn’t distracted by being offended. “Sure. Sarcastically. After he laughs in my face because he doesn’t believe me.”

Dean can practically hear the bitchface over the phone. _“Dean, what do you want me to do? Tell you he’s gonna say no? I can’t do that, because I’m one hundred and ten percent sure he will say yes. There’s no way he doesn’t know you love him. He’d have to be the biggest idiot in the world. In which case you’d be better off.”_

Dean swallows thickly around a lump in his throat and rubs the back of his neck. “Thanks, Sammy.”

_“It’s gonna work out, man. Don’t stress about it this much. He knows you love him even if you’ve never said it. Even if you never say it. He’ll know.”_

They said their goodbyes and Dean pressed _End_ on his phone. He rubbed a hand over his face and stared out the window, wondering how in the hell he’s ever going to pluck up the courage to just say four stupid, life altering words words.

~

That night had been quiet, like nights in with Cas usually were. They’d watched a movie, eaten take-out, and gone to bed at a respectable hour like the old farts they were.

The next day, Dean makes a plan that quickly goes to shit within an hour of it entering his brain.

Dean’s plan was going to go all out. Candles. Cheesy bundles of roses all over the place and the ring in his pocket just waiting to be held out over a big fancy dinner made by Dean himself. A big surprise for Cas to come home to.

Dean's in the pasta aisle at the grocery store when he gets the text from Cas saying he's going to be stuck at the office all night.

“Seriously?” Dean says as soon as Cas picked up the phone when Dean calls.

_“I’m sorry, Dean. They need me to work on a few things and it’s going to take longer than they expected. They’d rather I just get it all done tonight than--”_

“Cas, this is the fourth time this week you’ve stayed late. Can’t they cut you some slack? You’ve been working your ass off.”

He hears the frown in Cas’ voice when he responds. _“It’s just a few hours, Dean. I’ll be home before ten.”_

“What if you were busy? They can’t just keep expecting you to--”

_“Dean, why are you so upset? You’ve never gotten mad about me working long hours before. You said you understood that that’s just part of the job.”_

Dean deflates. “No. Sorry… I’m not.. It’s fine. I’ll just see you when you get home if I’m not already asleep. Good luck with the project.”

_“Dean--”_

Dean hangs up before he can shove his foot any further into his mouth. He puts everything back he’s gathered from around the store and heads back home, his stomach sour with regret and missed opportunity. He’d somehow worked himself up enough to ask, and he doubts he’ll ever get the courage again, at least not for a long time.

This might have been his only shot.

~

He goes to bed early that night. He remembers waking up blearily around ten, his internal clock telling him Cas should be home. But Cas wasn’t home. He wasn’t in bed with Dean, he didn’t hear the TV or even Cas fumbling around in the bathroom. Nothing.

So he fell back asleep.

He wakes again to the sound of the bedroom door clicking shut. He turns over and stretches, grunting as a few kinks pop out of his spine.

“Sorry,” he hears Cas whisper into the darkness. He feels the dip in the bed and then warmth washes over him when Cas crawls under the comforter behind him. Cas moves close and Dean lets him wrap an arm around his middle, surrounding him in comfortable heat.

Cas presses a kiss to the back of his neck and nuzzles his nose into Dean’s hair.

“You’re late,” Dean says quietly, tilting his head a bit as Cas presses his lips under Dean’s ear.

“I know. I apologize. The project took longer to finish than we expected. I think I managed to piss everyone off with how grumpy I was, though, if it’s any consolation. It’s probably the only reason we got out of there when we did.”

“Hmm.” Dean closes his eyes again and sets his hand over Cas’. “You finished, though?”

“Yes. No more late nights at the office for at least another month. Hopefully.”

“Good.”

Cas made a noise in agreement and curled himself up more, pressing his knees up behind Dean’s thighs and hugging Dean tighter.

A moment of silence passed and Dean thought maybe Cas had fallen asleep.

No such luck.

“Dean?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“What’s up?”

“Were you going to propose tonight?”

Dean goes rigid, all of the blood in his body apparently seeping right into the bed below him. “What?” he manages, and even he knows he sounds a little hoarse.

“Sorry,” Cas says quickly, backing off of Dean a bit. “I just… You didn’t hide the ring very well.”

Dean scrambles off the bed, nearly falling flat on his face when his legs get tangled up in the sheets. He flips on the light and rushes to the dresser, yanking open the drawer and digging through his socks until he finds the ring box. It’s definitely been moved since the last time he pulled it out, though. His heart sinks. His shoulders slump and he lets out a breath, rubbing at his eyes.

“Don’t be upset, Dean. In your defense, I rarely go through that drawer. But my feet were cold and you have the good pairs of socks.”

“I thought you didn’t go through it at all,” Dean groans. He turns and sees that Cas is sitting up in bed now, hair askew and the sheet draped over his lap.

“That’s why you were upset on the phone earlier, though, right?” Cas asks. “Because you planned to ask me tonight.”

Dean frowns and looks down at the floor. “It’s… whatever. It’s fine. It’s not a big deal.” He closes the drawer a little harder than he means to and he winces at the sound.

“What? Dean, of course it’s a big deal.” Cas gets out of bed and walks over to where Dean is standing and Dean still can’t even look at him. His face feels like it’s on fire and he thinks he actually might puke if he tries to talk.

“Why wouldn’t it be a big deal, Dean? I-- I never even--”

“I know… I know. I don’t-- I don’t say it like I should. I mean you’ve told me like a hundred times. You tell me like three times a day. So… how would you know? I do a shitty job of showing it.”

“What?”

“I just thought… it’s stupid. It was like a spur of the moment… stupid thing. I don’t know what I was thinking. You probably don’t--”

“Dean, stop.”

Cas hands are on either side of Dean’s face, forcing Dean to look up at him. Cas is staring at him like he’s grown a second head. “Dean, what on earth are you talking about?”

Dean frowns deeply. “You would have said no.”

Cas squints at him. “Why would I have said no?”

Dean’s mind reels at that. “‘Cause you probably think I don’t-- That I don’t l-love you.” Dean swallows around the lump in his throat and tries to look away.

Cas doesn’t let him, holding Dean in place. But his expression softens. “You think I don’t know that you love me?”

“I’ve never said it.”

Cas shakes his head. “I don’t need you to say it. We could go our whole lives without you even saying I like you and I’d still know that you love me, Dean. I’d be an idiot if I didn’t.”

Dean takes a deep breath and watches Cas, his heart twisting up in his chest, because _what_?

“Dean, every single thing that you do for me lets me know how much you love me. I don’t need you to ever say the words if you can’t or don’t want to. I love you. And I know you love me. And I would say yes. If you asked me a million times, I would say yes every time. If you had asked me five years ago, I would have said yes. If you waited for another ten years to ask me, I’d still say yes. Nothing will ever change that.”

Dean can feel his eyes stinging with tears but he doesn’t want to cry over this. He doesn’t want this to be some kind of chick flick, romance movie moment.

“You can ask me now, Dean. If you want. Or you can wait and ask me when you’ve done whatever it is you were going to do tonight before I ruined it. Or you can wait until you’re comfortable again. Whatever you need. I’ll say yes no matter what you decide.”

Dean lets out a breath and slumps forward, wrapping his arms around Cas and burying his face in Cas’ neck. “Christ.”

Cas snorts and holds him tightly, running a hand up into Dean’s hair.

Dean pulls back after a moment before opening the dresser again and digging the small box out of the back of the sock drawer. He takes a deep breath and turns back to Cas.

“You want me down on my knee?” Dean asks voice shaky and cheeks a little pink.

Cas smirks. “Maybe later.”

That gets Dean to relax a little and he opens the box, pulling out the band and holding up between his fingers between them. He chewed his lower lip nervously and looked up at Cas.

Cas isn’t even looking at the ring. He’s looking up at Dean, big, gummy smile lighting up his entire face. Dean’s nearly a puddle just at the sight of it. He looks back down and takes Cas’ hand, lifts it to where he can slide the ring onto Cas’ finger. He holds tight to Cas’ hand, staring at the ring and trying to keep his breathing under control.

“Dean.”

Dean looks up and he doesn’t even get to blink before Cas is launching himself at him, pulling Dean in by his face and kissing him with such a force that Dean is left completely breathless by the time Cas pulls back.

“I want you naked in thirty seconds,” Cas gasps, pushing Dean back toward the bed.

Dean strips off his shirt in record time, leaning forward to pull Cas in for another kiss before he starts on his pant.

“This is you saying ‘yes,’ right?” He pulls back a little to smirk at Cas.

Cas rolls his eyes. “This is very much me saying yes.”

The next hour makes Dean wonder why he ever worried in the first place.


End file.
